March 27th, 2004

alien © me

"i'd show a smile... but im too weak"

so here's the story: im at my aunt's house again.

yup... thats it...

i've uber lazy to update this week... its... weird... i kept putting it off... but i told myself i would update today, so here i am.

ok so this week has been ok... on monday... i did nothing. but i DID have a geometry test... on tuesday i was HOPING to get to go to the little kids day care thing again [did i ever mention that here? well last tuesday we went to this day care thing to read and play with some of the little kids... bobby and ana (steph's not in our class, DUH!) ae in my group... they got ignored by all the little kids... i made a friend... i forget his name... he was a bit weird looking... but its was fun either way... he let me carry him... that was touching] but we didnt get to... so that sucked big time... i think i also went to raul's house... wednesday... nothing i remember. thursday i went to raul's house again and we went to go see "dawn of the dead" he swore to me that it was good... it wasnt great... just blah... a bit gruesome(?) but i survived... then we went looking for the green nail polish that i've been DYING for! and didnt find it... but i DID find this lip gloss that i've been wanting... blah... on friday raul real early (i didnt even get to see him at lunch) cuz he was going to some 3 day church retreat(?) thing... he comes tomorrow at like 3... his mom asked if i wanted to accompany her at picking him up... i said sure... then i was in a bad mood in avid b/c i was the only one doing work and then my group members just wanted to copy off of me... which i thought was bullshit cause they werent even TRYING to help... they were just talking their asses off and laughing while i did the searching... gah... i accidentally snapped at leoni for it... then he IMed me last night and he asked me if i was feeling better and i said kinda and i apologized for being a bitch... he said it was cool... he actually understood the way i felt... he understood my frustration at the fact taht im only talked to when someone needs/wants something from me... he completey understood which i must admit made me feel quite better... and then i got mad cause he was the ONLY one out of the four to show ANY understanding for what i was talking about... which i thought was bullshit cuase you gotta be REAL fuckhead to think i had no reason to get mad... but, hey... its preuss... its full of fuckheads... but i was glad to talk to leoni about something other than... a bunch of nothingness... it felt... good... afterschool my mom took me to the store... i got a straightening iron... woo-hoo! and i FINALLY found my green nail polish... i also bought some fruity mentos <3 cuz they dont seel them at school anymore and i havent had any in forever and 1/2... so yay... after i logged off from taking with leoni, i painted my nails... RAINBOW!!!!!! my nails are rainbow and they rock my socks... and my underwear... but most importantly: my bed. so yay... then i showered... and slept... woke up this morning... ate... strightened my hair with my straightening iron... washed my face... brushed my teeth... did my make up... blah... my brother has a new job in la jolla... he left... my aunt and cousin left... and it was me, my mom, and george... nd agn... here i am...

i talked to this really conceited blonde today... her s/b for msn was "hey im hot"... and before that her s/n was "im hot your not"... i HATE conceited white girls!!! it makes me wanna kick ass! then i said something like "your a bit on the conceited side huh?" and she (unsurprisingly) said "what's that?" theni just deleteed her and stopped talking to her... GOD!!! i HATE dumb blondes... well.. except for a few... like lauren... <3... i miss all my friends!!!!!! even kenneth... and kenneth was just plain DUMB!

i get the feeling that this summer for those whole 17 days, im going to stay home and mope... and most likely CRY my eyes out!!! :( im going to sit and think "one year ago today i was..." :( sadness...

ok well... my uncle is in jail... how? why? i dont know... i decided to not ask many questions... but he is... or was... they send him back to TJ... but im not sure about whats going on right now... my aunt said they might have to go back to TJ... which i think sucks... b/c they had made plans about moving into an apt be the end of THIS month... and plus, my cousins has so much of a better future here! all he did here would just go to waste!!! and it just kinds of makes me sad to think about it... i hope things turn out ok...

so right now m not doing so great... everything is just... WRONG... as always... grrr... things are just so frustrating...

so here i am... my cousin luis is here... i havent seen him in a long time... yeah.,. i have to go... live a crappy life now... wish me luck...
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