April 13th, 2004

alien © me

(no subject)

agh. I had a bad day today.

I hate preuss. I simply do. NOT. belong.

its like. I just. I'm not “one of them”. I don’t know how else to put it into words. I DO NOT BELONG AT PREUSS. That’s all there is to say.

I feel as if… everyone at preuss has something. a “something” inside. a “something” that links them all together. no matter how different. they all have that “something” that links them together. they all, no matter HOW different, have that one “something” I'm common.

except me.

i mean, i DO have that “something” inside. but its not the same as them. and for that reason, I do not belong. that difference is what makes that ever so thick wall that separates me from them. its what makes me so different from EVERYONE. the only way for me to fit into groups, is if I leave.

like… preuss is a really small school. therefore everyone there has that “something” in common. and that’s the only type of “something” there. that’s why everyone fits in with each other. but, at other, bigger schools, there are different types of “somethings”, because there are a lot more kids. theres more of a variety of “somethings”, so if I were to leave I might be able to find a group of people who have the same “something” in common with me. so I could FINALLY fit in.

I just DON’T belong at preuss.

like… ana for example. she belongs at preuss. at her old school, she DIDN’T belong. that’s why she was so unhappy. the “something” inside her, was a different type than the types of “somethings” that were at her school. she has the same “something” that the people at preuss have (which is the kind I DON’T have), so when she came to preuss, she connected with the, right away. and that’s what I need: a new environment.

I need to find those people that I connect with because I don’t with anyone here.

its like, the “something” of the people at preuss is… blue… and mines is… orange. I don’t belong, I don’t connect with them, because mines is orange, but the color of everyone elses is blue.

and it sucks.

I simply do not belong at preuss.
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