May 12th, 2004

alien © me

(no subject)

daniel's online on msn, and im shaking... i miss him so much it hurts inside... and out...
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    everywhere you go - taxiride
alien © me

(no subject)

i have to do this because SOME people obvioulsy DO NOT know what it means when your told you have to be a GROUP, and work as a GROUP, and always remain a GROUP.

An assemblage of persons or objects gathered or located together; an aggregation: a group of dinner guests; a group of buildings near the road.
Two or more figures that make up a unit or design, as in sculpture.
A number of individuals or things considered together because of similarities: a small group of supporters across the country.
Linguistics. A category of related languages that is less inclusive than a family.

A military unit consisting of two or more battalions and a headquarters.
A unit of two or more squadrons in the U.S. Air Force, smaller than a wing.
A class or collection of related objects or entities, as:
Two or more atoms behaving or regarded as behaving as a single chemical unit.
A column in the periodic table of the elements.
A stratigraphic unit, especially a unit consisting of two or more formations deposited during a single geologic era.
Mathematics. A group with a binary associative operation such that the operation admits an identity element and each element of the set has an inverse element for the operation.

just think about it for a minute... and it'll ALL MAKE SENSE.
alien © me

(no subject)

i HATE it when someone doesnt have the balls to use your name in their journal entries, just because they know you read their journal. It's like they're affraid of what you have to say. it pisses me off SOOOO much! bitch, i know you're talking about me 1/2 the time you EVER type ANYTHING in your journal. just use my name. grow the fuck up for a second!
alien © me

(no subject)

i did a small rambling during pe. cause i dont fit in with anyone. not in that class or any other. so, as always, i went off on my own:

i officially hate myself. i want to burry myself underground; see how the world manages. but it sucks cause it kind of seems like i have so many good things going for me right now. or more like alot of good things going for the people around me, and i just happen to be a part of it. which is still good. im so uber happy for my mom. she;s doing so good (forgetting about saturday for a sec). im so happy for her. if i were to leave, she's be great without me. ha. if only, if only. sometimes i wonder if someone were to find all my ramblings, including my online journals, put them together and publish them (like in
Go Ask Alice), would anyone every read it? hm. i wonder. i seriously cant even remember the last time i felt good about msyelf. i miss looking in the mirror and smiling. or @ least i think i do. i dont think i ever have... which is kinds sad really. this little kid just hit on me.
"hey... i didnt get your # yet" yeah... lets keep it that way. i wonder if feelings would still be confusing if i were lesbian. hm. oh wow. but i wonder. why am i here? why was i given access to a (computer and internet)??? i wonder if one i'll be happy with waht i see? maybe even more that what i SEE. happy with who & where i am. the things i've done. the places i've been. the differnt air that has blown through every strand of my hair? i wonder what it is about me that lures people into my black hole?
what is it about me that makes people want to be my friend... hell, even just associated wtih me. my eyes? my hair? my smile? or is it just kind of a random thing?like. just look out @ people and think "hm. maybe her!?" i dont know. in daniel's case. it was most definitely random. & and i thank God (
::gasp::!) every day of my life for having picked me. even if it only lasted for so long. and joel. in that case I picked HIM. i saw him. and wondered. maybe it was the simple fact that i didnt know him. cause i could have simply walked off with annie. or just ignored him. i dont know. his eyes? yes. his eyes. i a guy with beautiful eyes. and if its not an obvious thing, i always in the end, find them beautiful. they eyes are such prescious things. they like the video camera of life. they capture sights. memories... or maybe its just me. this little kid dont leave me alone! gr! this shirtless guy ran by. he wasnt young... but he wasnt old either. WHY ATE LITTLE KIDS HITTING ON ME TODAY?????? THATS TWO PEOPLE TODAY! i really dont need any more guys in my life right now. really. i think i fiannly have a reason for crying myself to sleep so much: i cry b/c i hope that little by little, along with my tears, my life will be washed away. drained out of my, until its all gone. maybe i really do hope that. subconsciencely, of course.
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