June 27th, 2004

alien © me

"if i could find you now, things would get better..."

i hate the way i'll fall for anything.

i hate the way daniel ended up not really caring.
i hate the way albert ened up being a sex crazed little fuck.
i hate the way charlie ended up being a sex crazed little fuck.
i hate the way ana ended up not really being "best" my friend, or my true friend at all for that matter.
i hate the way my dad ended up being a selfish horny (even htough he had a WIFE waiting foir him at home!) lier.
i hate the way my all my pets have just used me for food.
i hate the way pruess ended up being the WORSE school in the U.S. rather than the best.

my little seniors are all grown up and ready to up and leave.

i was almost crying last night just thinking about it.

i came home today and found my two little babies sleeping in their food tray. their EMPTY food tray. i felt bad and filled it back up. this week has been full of stress and bussiness so i havent had to time to even FEED them! :(

one day i'll be perfect... right?

i bought a new bright pink nail polish today.

today was my last day at the cal-sopa scholars thing. yay. no more waking up at 7:00 am on saturdays for me. HA!

i got an email. and i dont know how to react. part of wants to freak out and do fan girl sqeals... but the otehr part of me wants to burst into tears. its been so long. and i cant tell what kind of tome of voice was being given off. angry? hurt? happy? twelve words isnt nearly enough to be able to tell. some one save me...

There's a piece of you that's here with me
It's everywhere I go,
It's everything I see
When I sleep I dream and it gets me by
I can make believe that your here tonight

feels like im dreaming but im not sleepin...

this week went by really slow.

i decided to not go to jessica's quince...

im hoping to no go to school friday. i need to get away ASAP.

oh... and i got visually raped by some nasty old mexican men. at my stop thers this building being built. so there are alot of constuction workers around. and on... either thursday or wedensday.. these two guys were getting something from there car, and they walked by me and these 2 other girls that ride my bus, and they were talking in spanish, but i didnt hear what they were talking about until they were walking back, and the oldest guy said something like "which one do you think looks best? do you not like any of them? or all three?" and i was just like eww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i like almost threw up... it was so nasty... i wanted to run home and cry... it was just so... disgusting.... i felt so dirty... i got the chills and just... ew... the thought... then on friday morning the youngest guy saw me... and he jus stood there and stared at me... it was so nasty! i was bout to flip him off but then he turned. its just so gross the way guys old disgusting mexican men do that! i dont really need an old guy undressing me with his eyes to boost my ego. it was so nasty... i think i want to change stops...

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